|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
My Lasting MemoriesThere are many and I will write them as they come to my mind.
Stepping on British soil next to John, very much in love.
Strolling and discovering his town hand in hand , beautiful Shrewsbury,
birthplace of Charles Darwin.
Walking to corners that he had never stopped to look before
and cycling among the groves of cedars, oaks, limes and weeping willows.
Walking barefooted on the English turf in the Quarry,
those 29 acres of green where originally
the stone was obtained to build houses.
Dazzled by the striking colour of flowers everywhere
the delicately manicured gardens of the Dingle.
And the Severn River ... the longest river in Great Britain,
historic bridges, arches, iron,
buildings and stories of war and depression
and flourish and progress.
The boat ride from Victoria Quay on the ferry Sabrina,
a mermaid who drowned in the river, according to the myth.
And the ducks and swans.
The car rides through the English countryside
towards Newport and Hereford and Worcester
to meet daughters
Look" And you, who is going to look at you! "
And someone looked at me,
someone saw me from afar .
Perhaps in a picture of me,
he contemplated my bare soul ,
and in need of love.
Maybe he peeked through my eyes
and he was caught
Perhaps he let himself be entangled in my hair
and seduced by my words.
" And you, who is going to look at you! "
That phrase I can not forget.
And someone looked at me.
The first time he saw me
it was from a distance.
Then there was a call
and my voice captivated him .
And he came.
He travelled many miles
to take a better look at me ...
And it was then
he could not stop looking at me,
and he came back,
and he always returns.
And he looks at me with eyes of the one that looks beyond ...
and sees perfection in the imperfection,
beauty and sensitivity,
virtues over defects.
At some point I was led to believe
no one could look at me as a woman ...
He who looks at me now,
not only sees me as a woman.
He imagines a princess, a doll,
a being of light,
25th January 2014I have turned 48.
I look back
and I see that I've had a good life
and now I feel
The difficulties were overcome ,
and I moved on .
And here I am now
I always had confidence in myself
I always knew what I wanted to do
I always followed my intuition,
And if ever there were tears
I erased them with new happiness .
At some point I was on the edge of an abyss
and had to decide
And I flew .
And from above I saw how darkness dissipated ,
and I saw that there were still flowers in my green fields .
and that there was a sun and a new moon
and four beautiful stars that guided me ...
and four beautiful clouds which sheltered me ...
and four beautiful melodies that lulled me ...
I found a great heart that opened its doors to me
and two strong arms that wanted to take care of me.
I am 48
but I do not feel old,
I feel reborn.
I'm living life
with a new intensity,
and the smile
does want not to leave my face!
25 de enero 2014.
He cumplido 48 años.
Miro hacia atrás
y veo que he tenido una buena vida
y ahora me siento
Las dificultades fueron superadas,
y seguí adelante.
Y aquí estoy ahora
Siempre tuve confianza en mi misma
siempre supe lo que quería hacer
siempre hice lo que me dictó mi intuición,
Y si hubo lágrimas alguna vez
las borré con felicidades nuevas.
En algún momento estuve al borde de un abismo
y tuve que decidir
Y desde lo alto ví como la oscuridad se disipaba,
y ví que aún había flores en los verdes campos.
y había un sol y una luna nueva
y cuatro hermosas estrellas que me guiaban...
y cuatro hermosas nubes que me cobijaban...
y cuatro hermosas melodías que me arrullaban...
Encontré un gran corazón que me abría sus puertas
y dos fuertes brazos que querían cuidarme.
Cumplo 48 años
CicatrizLa cicatriz en tu frente es
la profunda marca de nuestro amor profundo.
Cuando te miro
recuerdo que vos estás aquí por mí,
que has viajado miles de kilómetros
para estar conmigo.
Veo en tu cara
los muchos momentos de alegría que compartimos,
la manera en que descubrimos el amor de nuevo,
la diversión que hemos tenido,
y las lágrimas que derramamos cada vez que tenemos que separarnos
El corte en tu piel
por momentos corta mi corazón
y sangra mi culpa.
El golpe en tu cabeza
todavía me estremece por dentro.
Cada uno de los muchos puntos que tuviste
también traspasaron mi piel.
y recuerdo aquellas primeras noches a tu lado en el hospital,
cuidandote como una madre cuida a su niño enfermo
y llorando como lo hace una madre
cuando ve a su hijo sufrir.
Esta herida que que lastimó tu cuerpo...
en un momento pensé que podías estar muriendo, ,
siempre va a sangrar dentro mio
ScarredThe scar on your forehead is
the deep mark of our deep love.
I see you
and I am reminded that
you are here because of me,
that you travelled thousands of miles
to be with me.
I see on your face
the many moments of joy we shared,
the way we discovered love again,
the fun we have had all this time
and the tears we shed every time we have to part.
The cut on your skin
at times cuts through my heart
and my guilt bleeds.
Each of the twenty something stitches you had
pierced me sharply.
The blow on your head
still shakes inside me.
I see you
and I remember those nights by your side in hospital
watching over you
as a mother watches over a sick child,
crying as a mother cries
when she sees her child suffer.
And the many nights now when I try to stay awake
to be with you when you wake up out of discomfort and pain.
That wound that hurt your body
will always bleed inside me
will always be a reminder of that test of life.
Now I see you,
and it is all healing,
There is a before and after
and our l
Your FallI saw you fall,
in slow motion.
It was an instant ,
I wanted to help you but I could not ...
And I saw you fall and hit
and hurt yourself.
I still see you when I close my eyes ...
Now I know in an instant
happiness is tinged with red,
with despair .
I still see you in my arms, ,
your head in my hands
and I hear my own screams ...
"This can not be happening, "
but it was happening.
And I had to have the courage to face it
and the strength to help you
I talked to you,
I said your name
and you looked at me ...
I asked you not to leave me,
I asked you to stay with me .
And I shouted so hard,
from my heart, with my soul, no tears,
crying would have torn me apart.
I thought we were alone,
I thought it was the end. .
I was very afraid .
Then help arrived ,
and they rescued you and they supported me .
But then there was a long wait of uncertainty. ,
I needed to know if you were alive ...
I needed to see you, to touch you.
And I cried on shoulders unknown
And I thought what I'd d
I Tear My Skin AwayI Tear My Skin Away
I tear this skin from my body,
Even if the world screams,
That I am only an illusion.
I tear the bones from my legs,
Through pain, I will grow,
Through suffering, I will become.
I rip the muscles from my arms,
These teeth from my jaws...
And with nothing upon me,
I carry on...
Like a broken puppet, still shivering,
Still forcing its way through the darkness;
I tremble for I am nothing...
And yet, I am moving. My voice still screams...
I draw breath into these tired lungs,
As I rip the flesh away...
And I shatter these mirrors before me,
With a voice that will not break:
Because the world cannot label me as nothing,
And I will live for my own sake!
"So tell me, is that all the pain you've got for me?"
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Those Green Eyes (Or: Don't Lie to Your Kid)Those green eyes -
The green of joy
The green of hope
The green of love and acceptance -
Were always full of lies.
They first lied when I said,
After a nightmare at four am
When I was too small to reach a light switch,
“Will you ever leave me?”
And those eyes said,
Why did those green eyes
Shut when I needed them most?
"Are you okay?"
Would be a red line
That I would etch into myself
Those green eyes melted.
Those green eyes did shine
And I knew what it was -
I was young, not stupid -
But I indulged the lie,
For those green eyes.
"Will it get better?"
I asked one sunny Saturday
At ten in the morning
And those green eyes looked away;
“And you’ll be here forever?”
There were no words.
I made up my own affirmative.
Those green eyes -
When they saw
How I’d rubbed myself raw
notes on a matchbook love.if I were the type
to say how I really felt,
I'd tell you that
I hope you choke on your apologies
like they're arsenic
and your nails are already
with the poison.
I'd let you know
that I'll never be a body
for you to touch
just because I know that's all you want.
I'll never be a fairy in a bottle
at your waist.
this is no storybook, and
I am no myth.
hear my silence,
feel the cold absence
respond to your weak "I'm sorry"s.
I beg you,
stop digging the hole,
stop, just stop.
Hush and watch the flames
engulf the image you sold me.
you can tell me
I'm beautiful as much
as you want,
but I know that it's not enough,
that you'll always want more,
that you've been a wolf
between my legs all this time
and my fingers are bruised
from holding the leash.
now every time you whisper
"please be okay",
I will always tell you that
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
I will forever pretend
that I've grown up from you,
that I've become a mystery
Let me dieGo away
Leave me alone
And let me die
Of this world
I don't want to live
Because there's no light
At the end of this tunnel
So I'll just end my life
Don't try to stop me
And we'll meet again
On the other side
Outside this dark tunnel
Wrists.Wrists are not made,
To be cut up by cold blades.
Blood was meant to stay in your veins,
Not to be drained.
From your body,
You're stronger than that,
I know a person can only take,
Until they break.
And you have your doubts,
And when you lay in bed,
The pain is all you think about.
But you're so much more,
Than your heart aches.
So much more,
Than your demons.
Even if you feel,
Like your dying,
And you are through with trying,
Because all you've been doing lately is crying.
I want you to know,
That no, you're not alone.
And you re going to survive.
Please just drop your knife,
Because you're going to,
Make it out alive.
words, wonderlight has faded and words are heavy,
but there is a delicate magic
twisting between your fingers.
it is all a-scribble
melisma without music;
syllables stitching terra firma
to firmament in intricate
stanzas that require
neither breath nor sound
to echo, infinite,
within the depths
of susurrous souls.
it is cold and it is dark,
but there is a fire in you
and you use it with a fierce grace
that illuminates the shadows,
and ignites the demons
until not even the grey spaces
that haunt and harry
can hold dominion.
they are exposed
they are broken
into shards of sunrise
and rays of a quiet
you scare away the night
with exhalations that blow
away the fogged emptiness
inside, over and over,
sparking fireworks from
what was thought
to be ash.
True LoversI want to open my woman's body
so that your man's body can go inside me.
I want my kisses of passion
to fuse with your kisses of frenzy.
Let my fire burn your wood
and let me drown in the sea of your desire.
I want you to make me yours
and I want to make you mine,
like true lovers.
I want you to undress me
lay me on the bed
and lie beside me.
I want you
and I love you.
To depression, for creating days without endWake up to the realization that you've been awake
for seconds, minutes, hours.
You've been awake in this warm, dark room
and you don't know how long it's been
but now you're conscious
and it starts again--
the pain, strong and steady, in your chest.
You gain consciousness in this too warm morning
and your thoughts whir in endless loops
because it's either that or face the weight in your chest.
Light breaks though the window, soft and unwelcome
but you take it as a reluctant gift--
a new distraction from the feelings awake in your chest.
Awake, but not conscious.
So you think yourself in circles a little while longer
waiting for those quiet pains
(the constant reminder)
to gain consciousness.
IowaIf you visit Iowa,
you'll call her fields empty,
but she wasn't born that way.
A part of her was carved out
when she was ripped between Virginia
and the purple mountains of New Mexico.
Her gold hair, she tore it out when she realized
it didn't make her a princess.
She laid her locks strung along every road
leading somewhere else.
White hairs on her cheeks
are scars from winter.
Her hair darkens with the dampness
of summer rains.
The storms are never silent,
but neither is life when there's a tear
in your childhood where
a parent ought to be.
I've been flooded by Iowa's sorrow.
The only way I can distract her from her own voided landscape
is if I hate myself harder than she cries.
She just wants to fly
and I want to bus or train,
not because I fear death, but because
I want to take living slow.
It's the only way I ever feel.
From the air it's hard to watch Earth's hips move.
But Earth can't compare to the country.
That's my girl.
Full grown even when harvesting season's j
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More